Broken

Nope, I don’t love you.

I never did.

You were a fool to think I did, even for a moment.

Were you even thinking?

You are not at all my type.

Style, class, elegance – what do you possess?

Innocence and simplicity is everything. You believed me when I told you that. Honestly?

Why would I choose you?

I just wanted to while my time. And you were an easy catch.

Did you really think I would marry you? Take you home with me?

Ha ha. That was funny.

I am sorry if your heart is broken, but I didn’t ask you to give it to me. Right?

 

Outrageous were the lies I told you,

But more outrageous was the fact that you believed them.

________________________________________________________________________

 Note: For the prompt over at Writer’s Island this week – Outrageous.

________________________________________________________________________

 

Update:

 

People, I guess I didn’t convey the point I wanted to through the above piece. I edited it a bit (the last part) to convey what I had in mind. Here it is:

Nope, I don’t love you.

I never did.

You were a fool to think I did, even for a moment.

Were you even thinking?

You are not at all my type.

Style, class, elegance – what do you possess?

Innocence and simplicity is everything. You believed me when I told you that. Honestly?

Why would I choose you?

I just wanted to while my time. And you were an easy catch.

Did you really think I would marry you? Take you home with me?

Ha ha. That was funny.

I am sorry if your heart is broken, but I didn’t ask you to give it to me. Right?

 

These and some more

Were the outrageous lies I told you,

But more outrageous was the fact

That you believed them.

 

However, the comments made me look at it in a different way. So I am leaving the original version as it is.

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22 Comments

Filed under Love, My stories, Prompts

22 responses to “Broken

  1. Oh, that was really good. A powerful piece of writing. Can’t say more!!
    Sathej

  2. Veens

    well… this was outrageous 🙂

    i wonder hw heart broken i wud be … if i was the person at the receiving end.

    but this was REALLY GOOD 🙂

  3. ahem!! explosive.. not for faint hearted…! 😛

  4. priyaiyer

    @sathej and veens

    thanks a lot! 🙂

    @rahul

    er, how was this explosive exactly? i thought it was romantic, in a sad sort of way. 😦

  5. whoa… i’d hate to be the person at the receiving end.. 😦
    good one… 🙂

  6. priyaiyer

    @aparnas

    i m not sure who was at the receiving end in this one – the guy or the girl. but anyways, i wouldnt like to be in either situation. 🙂

    and ya, thanks. 🙂

  7. nah nah! i meant.. the explosion of reality for the poor person who had to hear this.. alas, poor soul! 😉 romantic!?!? c’mon please! from this, it seems like the end of romance! 😀

  8. priyaiyer

    @rahul

    looks like i did a pathetic job of conveying the message. 😦 pls check the update. hope it is clear now. 🙂

  9. aaahhh!!! gaat it this time… mea culpa!!

  10. The second version is the same as the first one, right? Or am I missing something 😦

    Anyway, the same work of art is subject to different interpretations, says Wilde 🙂

    Sathej

  11. priyaiyer

    @rahul

    🙂

    @sathej

    first of all, this is not at all a piece of art.

    secondly, the two versions are not the same. there is a minor change in words in the second one, due to which the meaning changes (I hope it does!). In the first one, the person at the receiving end is paavam, while in the second one, both the people involved are paavam. 😦

  12. I got that this prose can have two way of interpretations while reading it for the first time itself UP..and i thought you ve intentionally written it that way…

  13. I guess its time for the person in the receiving end for a fresh restart … btw how do u classify this post as ..?

  14. priyaiyer

    @sn

    oh, you did? cool. 🙂 nope, i dint intentionally write it that way…

    @aravind

    in the first version, yes, the person at the receiving end needs to make a fresh start. in the second version, no, there’s a lot of loving still left. what both need is realisation.

    how would i classify the post? i would put both versions under the category of love, as both convey different shades of love.

  15. Am all at sea, frankly!! 😦 Never mind. Am too pre occupied with thoughts now that I am not quite getting it. Shall get back about this later….
    Sathej

  16. priyaiyer

    @sathej

    🙂 it happens.

  17. priya..I think I liked the first version more. 🙂

    I am not so sure if I agree with the last part..I would never term belief outrageous..may be In real world people like me shall be termed outrageous 🙂

  18. priyaiyer

    @rambler

    “In real world people like me shall be termed outrageous”

    :))

  19. So, all this was a lie that was told to the receiver?
    as per the second version?
    I liked it thou! 🙂

  20. priyaiyer

    @priya

    yep, thats what i originally had in mind, but did a sorry job of conveying. thats what the second version says. 🙂

    thanks and welcome here! 🙂

  21. That was good!
    But if the lie was so ‘outrageous’ as it is said, no wonder it was believed! To say something like that, and then complain it was believed? What do you believe in more, then, the pesron, or he words of the person? Strange! 😉

  22. priyaiyer

    @suchitra

    hey! welcome to UP! 🙂

    i imagined a situation (in case of the second version) wherein the girl and the boy had known each other for a reasonable period of time. due to circumstances, one partner told some outrageous lies, but the tragedy of the situation was that the other partner believed the lies rather than the person. 😦

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